Author Archives: Scott Ross

The Lion and the Unicorn


For our BYGONES feature today, Margaret Mills turned her spotlight on FRED MIZON a sculptor of straw from Great Bardfield who had created a large exhibit, known as THE LION and the UNICORN, especially for the FESTIVAL OF BRITAIN, that was staged on the South Bank of the THAMES back in 1951.


Listen again here to what Margaret had to say on this subject: –

See you again next week,

I’ve just gotta have a glass of wine – NOW!

So what do you do if you have an  urgent craving for a glass of wine but the shops are all closed? 

Well one unnamed Russian guy in his late 20’s didn’t hesitate.

First off he stole an armoured personnel carrier from a nearby privately-run motorsport training ground, drove it through a forest  and then proceeded to ram it through the window of a “Family” convenience store.

In the process of trying unsuccessfully to turn the vehicle round in the narrow street, he managed to crush a Daewoo car parked nearby.

Footage shared on social media showed the man subsequently exiting the vehicle through its hatch, briefly inspecting the damage, and entering the shop through the broken window.

Local news media, HIBINFORM reported that he had subsequently been  arrested in possession of a stolen bottle of wine, adding that the shop was not licensed to sell alcohol that early in the morning.

Well needs must, I guess!

For our BYGONES feature today, Margaret Mills turned her spotlight on FRED MIZON a sculptor of straw from Great Bardfield who had created a large exhibit, known as THE LION and the UNICORN, especially for the FESTIVAL OF BRITAIN, that was staged on the South Bank of the THAMES back in 1951.

You can listen again here to what Margaret had to say on this subject: –

See you again next week,

Now this is what I call a life in the fast lane!

My guest today was local author, MARK WESLEY.

But far more than an author, as over the years Mark has been a musician having played in a band, been a record producer, songwriter, jingle maker, he now produces marketing films and commercials and has been a DJ and when I say DJ, I mean big name DJ – from small beginnings becoming at the tender age of 17, the first voice to be heard on the original “off shore” Radio Essex, before moving on to the “super hit sound” of RADIO 270, the original off-shore, RADIO SCOTLAND, thence on to RADIO NORDSEE INTERNATIONAL, before settling down at RADIO LUXEMBOURG for more than a decade and then onto other radio stations in the UK and Ireland and now, when most people of his age with any sense, are considering retirement, he suddenly turns his attention to writing action packed novels.

His first novel BANGK was published just two years ago with the second one, FRACK hot on its heals and a third one already in the pipeline, they are clearly coming out faster than a speeding bullet.

Listen here to what Mark had to tell me about his exciting new career: – 

Later in the show we heard about the Brazilian man who tried to illegally import a load of Cocaine into Portugal by way of a pair of fake buttocks attached to a pair of swimming trunks.

What you might call a “bum deal!”

Drug possession and use has actually been decriminalised in Portugal, but drug trafficking is something else and can result in prison sentences of up to 12 years.

See you once more tomorrow,

More Darwin Award winners!

I was once again honoured to be deputising for the fantastic MICHELLE WARD today.

As on recent occasions when deputising for Michelle, I took the chance to look at some of the various Darwin Award winners.

Now just in case you have not previously heard of the DARWIN AWARDS, these awards are doled out posthumously to those unfortunates who have met their end through their own crass stupidity.

Our first award winner today was SCOTT McKIMMIE who’s purple Volkswagen Cabriolet would not be considered roadworthy by most people, but to a handy mechanic a flaw can be considered a security feature.

Early on a Tuesday morning outside The Phoenix pub in Corby, the 39-year-old started his 1998 Cabriolet in his usual unusual manner — he put the car in gear and reached beneath the bonnet and touched two wires together to create an ignition spark.

Unfortunately he failed to remember that he had not put the handbrake on.

To make matters worse he had modified the vehicle to run with a fast idle to prevent stalling.

As black wire touched red wire the engine turned over and started, and the car lurched forward and knocked him over.

Due to the fast idle the vehicle continued on its merry way, inflicting 36 “separate injuries” on the unfortunate man as it kept going and going.

As demonstrated in a police investigation video shown subsequently in court, the engine modifications allowed the car to move forward without stalling when it was in first, second or third gear!

Coroner Anne Pember recorded a verdict of accidental death with this summary: “It is quite clear that the cause of this tragedy was the unusual starting method Mr. McKimmie used to start his car.

Keeping to a transport theme we next looked at a duo of intoxicated Dutchmen who met their end by putting their extra “DUTCH COURAGE” to the test up against an intercity express train.

One of our “would-be” heroes lay down between the tracks, confident that the entire train would pass over him. His less confident friend merely knelt down next to the track and kept his head as close as possible to where he thought the train’s profile would be.

As the duo subsequently discovered the 130 km/h train that came down the track some seconds later was both lower and wider than they thought.

Shame about that!

Our final contender today met his end much more peacefully – in the process of voting in an election no less.


A contentious issue in Canada during the 2015 elections was whether or not, voters whose faces were fully covered were eligible to vote. 

In the weeks leading up to the election scattered protesters covered their heads in various clever ways to attract the attention of the media.

On Federal Election Day itself, many joined the protest and hid their faces at the polls.

In Montreal, a 24-year-old voter took the blue ribbon by appearing at his polling station with a plastic bag over his head!

During the 45-minute wait the protestor fainted, leading to death from “respiratory complications.”

He did not vote!

See you again soon,

A pretty dumb criminal

Now I know you would never do this, but just supposing for one moment that you were planning to rob someone at gunpoint, I think you would agree that staging the crime at a police officer’s convention, might not be the best place to carry out such an act.

But amazingly that thought never occurred to JEROME BLANCHETT, a 19-year old alleged thief who pointed a gun in the face of retired police chief, John Comparetto as he emerged from the loo.

His getaway by taxi was foiled when his victim and some of the other 300 police officers attending the convention gave chase.

It subsequently emerged that the suspect was already awaiting trial for 4 previous robbery attempts.

Obviously a man who believes that if at first you don’t succeed you should always “try, try and try again”.

When a reporter asked the suspect for comment as he was led out of court, he said, “I’m smooth.”

Now Margaret Mills would be the last person to be involved in anything so nefarious.

It was good to see that Margaret had survived the arctic conditions we endured last week and was back today to tell us all about the connection between a Methodist Minister and a Suffragette.

Listen again here to what Margaret had to say on this subject today: –

See you again soon,


The Suffragette and the Methodist Minister


It was good to see that Margaret had survived the arctic conditions we endured last week and was back today to tell us all about a Methodist Minister, Nehemiah Curnock and his daughter,  Ruth, a Suffragette who it was rumoured was responsible for throwing a brick through the window of the Post Office in Rayleigh.

Listen again to what Margaret told me today on this subject: –

See you again next week,

All about presentation

On today’s show we heard about the Welsh pub aiming to get their customers talking to each other rather than sitting glued to their mobile phones.

Staff at THE FAT BOAR were so fed up to see their customers glued to their smart phones that they have introduced MOBILE FREE MONDAY.

Punters willing to lock their phones away in a box on the table and hand the keys over to staff for the duration of their meal, will enjoy a 25% reduction the cost of their food.

Seems good to me.

Now if only it was my local!

We also heard about passengers on a flight between Dubai and Amsterdam being subjected to the non-stop gaseous emissions from a fellow traveller suffering from severe flatulence.

It seems that as the crew were unwilling to intervene a fight broke out resulting in the plane being forced to divert to Vienna.

No one was arrested but the airline has banned four passengers from flying with them again, including two women who claim not to have been involved in the fracas, but merely had the misfortune to be sitting in the same row.

They are now creating a stink of their own by suing the airline whilst the passenger, who it is claimed was the source of the problem, can breathe easy as no action was taken against him.

Clearly it’s all plane sailing when the wind is blowing in your direction!

See you again tomorrow,

Making hay while the sun shines

Now as we all know last week was not one which will have left fast food chain KFC basking in glory.

But now it seems that the proprietor of a one rival restaurant in Swansea, who have an outlet only 4 doors away from the local KFC have cashed in on KFC’s discomfort, by adding chicken to their menu.

The restaurant which trades under the name – THE OPTIMIST – has put up a sign which reads  “We may be optimistic but we don’t count our chickens till they have hatched. “WE HAVE CHICKEN…and it is finger licking great.”

As for KFC themselves, well they’ve just launched their own tongue-in-cheek advert which shows an empty bargain bucket, with the letters KFC cleverly rearranged in another order!

Being a Tuesday, Margaret Mills returned and related the story of a very unusual First World War Battalion, the Royal Fusiliers under the command of Viscount Maitland, the 14th Earl of Lauderdale.

If you missed it, listen again here: –

See you again next week,

The spooks are all out there!

I was joined today by local best selling author, SYD MOORE whose books are all inspired by the myths and legends surrounding ESSEX., notably the history of witch persecutions.

Her first book, THE DROWNING POOL, published in 2011 was based around the alleged Sea Witch, SARAH MOORE who lived in Old Leigh back in the 19th century. Just a year later Syd’s second novel WITCH HUNT came out and now just when we thought it was safe to come out from behind the sofa she has a new trilogy of books – STRANGE SIGHT, STRANGE MAGIC and STRANGE FASCINATION.


Now Syd has come up with a prize that could be yours – an autographed  copy of her brand new book STRANGE SIGHT.

To be in with a chance of winning this prize all you need to do is answer the following question:

At the end of her book STRANGE MAGIC, one of the characters, Auntie Babs refers to one of her friends, Ray Boundersby who runs a restaurant off Fetter Lane.

That restaurant features in the new book STRANGE SIGHT.

All you have to do is name the restaurant.

Then simply e-mail your answers addressed to THE SYD MOORE BOOK COMPETITION, to by midnight 31st March.

The first correct answer pulled out of the hat wins the prize. Simple as that!

Listen to what Syd had to tell me today about her life and writings:-

Keeping to things out of the “left field” we reported on the news that a 14-year old Indonesian boy keeps laying eggs!

Yes, his family claims that he has laid 20 eggs in the past two years and his father told local media that over the past two years his son had laid 18 eggs plus another 2 on the day he was taken to the hospital where, just before he laid another egg in front of amazed medics, he was x-rayed in an attempt to prove his story.

He has now been quarantined so doctors can monitor his condition.

If they’re lucky maybe he’ll even lay on breakfast for them!

On that note I’m off.

All being well I’ll see you again tomorrow,