Today we heard about two felons who maybe should try something else.

First off came news of man who’s life of crime has never paid off as he always gets caught. But he must have thought his luck had changed when at 4am he stumbled upon an unlocked car with the keys still in the ignition and and iPad and wallet just sitting there for the taking.

All he had to do was reach in and he would be quids in.

Unfortunately our hero got in the car and in his drug clouded mind, inadvertently pressed the door-lock button on the key fob and then couldn’t understand how the doors had seemingly locked by themselves, imprisoning him in the vehicle.

In a blind panic he smashed a car window to make good his escape and then whilst trying to use a credit card from the wallet he’d just pinched, was picked up on CCTV.

Then we heard about the would-be bank robber armed with a knife, who told the cashier to deposit £500 into his own account.

When that didn’t work he ran down to another bank nearby and demanded the money in cash, but they didn’t have that much in the till.

Unsurprisingly he was quickly apprehended and has now been sentenced to 2 years at Her Majesty’s pleasure.

See you again tomorrow,
Scott