Brentwood, 4.41am: 15°C, overcast clouds

Practical jokes are always good for a laugh – but be careful who you chose for a victim!

Yes, we heard today about father of two girls, LIAM SCHEWITZ who pulled the ultimate trick on his children by producing a fake government letter announcing that in order to make up for lost time, once schools re-opened, they would be operating 7 days a week for the next 6 months.

He created a letter purporting to come from Boris Johnson announcing that schools would be holding weekend sessions.

When he showed the letter to his children, it resulted in a stunned silence.

The letter read: –

“Thank you for all you have done so far to keep your child at home during the quarantine period. Together, we will beat this virus far more quickly, and we can return to normal as soon as possible.

“Unfortunately, with your child staying at home this means your child may have missed over 50+ days of school by the time we return to normality.

“I would like to take this opportunity to reassure you that we are doing everything we can to ensure your child’s education is maintained in any way and not hindered by the pandemic.

“For this reason, when the schools reopen, we will quickly make up for lost time by not only teaching your children from Monday to Friday, but also making it compulsory for your child to attend school on Saturdays and Sundays for the first 6 months.”

Liam said, his eldest daughter aged 11, had sent a copy to her friends and he listened as they all tried to rationalise the whole thing.

To stir things up some more Liam and his wife mused out loud about what would happen to the water parks, and how they would kill the time whilst the children were at school over the weekends, debating whether they might go to funfairs and the beach before collecting them from school.

After the children spent hours researching the issue, Liam finally came clean and told them it was all a joke.

Welcome to the big league!

Of course, being a Tuesday it was good to welcome back Margaret Mills, who’s subject this week concerned a commemorative window installed at St Helens Roman Catholic church in Ongar, as a memorial to a one time clergyman from the church, Father Biles, who was sadly a victim of the sinking of the TITANIC.

Listen again here to what Margaret had to say on this subject: –

See you again next week,

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