I was once again honoured to be deputising for the fantastic MICHELLE WARD today.
As on recent occasions when deputising for Michelle, I took the chance to look at some of the various Darwin Award winners.
Now just in case you have not previously heard of the DARWIN AWARDS, these awards are doled out posthumously to those unfortunates who have met their end through their own crass stupidity.
Our first award winner today was SCOTT McKIMMIE who’s purple Volkswagen Cabriolet would not be considered roadworthy by most people, but to a handy mechanic a flaw can be considered a security feature.
Early on a Tuesday morning outside The Phoenix pub in Corby, the 39-year-old started his 1998 Cabriolet in his usual unusual manner — he put the car in gear and reached beneath the bonnet and touched two wires together to create an ignition spark.
Unfortunately he failed to remember that he had not put the handbrake on.
To make matters worse he had modified the vehicle to run with a fast idle to prevent stalling.
As black wire touched red wire the engine turned over and started, and the car lurched forward and knocked him over.
Due to the fast idle the vehicle continued on its merry way, inflicting 36 “separate injuries” on the unfortunate man as it kept going and going.
As demonstrated in a police investigation video shown subsequently in court, the engine modifications allowed the car to move forward without stalling when it was in first, second or third gear!
Coroner Anne Pember recorded a verdict of accidental death with this summary: “It is quite clear that the cause of this tragedy was the unusual starting method Mr. McKimmie used to start his car.
Keeping to a transport theme we next looked at a duo of intoxicated Dutchmen who met their end by putting their extra “DUTCH COURAGE” to the test up against an intercity express train.
One of our “would-be” heroes lay down between the tracks, confident that the entire train would pass over him. His less confident friend merely knelt down next to the track and kept his head as close as possible to where he thought the train’s profile would be.
As the duo subsequently discovered the 130 km/h train that came down the track some seconds later was both lower and wider than they thought.
Shame about that!
Our final contender today met his end much more peacefully – in the process of voting in an election no less.
A contentious issue in Canada during the 2015 elections was whether or not, voters whose faces were fully covered were eligible to vote.
In the weeks leading up to the election scattered protesters covered their heads in various clever ways to attract the attention of the media.
On Federal Election Day itself, many joined the protest and hid their faces at the polls.
In Montreal, a 24-year-old voter took the blue ribbon by appearing at his polling station with a plastic bag over his head!
During the 45-minute wait the protestor fainted, leading to death from “respiratory complications.”
He did not vote!
See you again soon,
Scott
