Category Archives: One 2 Three

Help I’ve lost my car!

We heard the sad tale today of the couple who lost their car.

Now I’ll be totally honest, I have an enormous amount of sympathy for this couple.

Have you ever parked your car and then not been able to find it?

I did once in a multi-story carpark in Ilford which had two identical sides – mirror images of each other and, of course, I was in the wrong one; and I know of someone else who went to a motorway service area but when they came out went to the car park on the wrong side of the motorway.

Anyway 79 year old M/S Farmer, dropped her 81-year old partner, Emmanuel Elliott, off for a hospital appointment last Friday afternoon and then went off to try to find a parking space.

Unfortunately after the appointment the poor lady couldn’t remember where she’d left the vehicle.

Family and friends of the couple, from Gloucester, then spent four days searching for the car before it was eventually located in a car park just 900 metres from the hospital and had been ticketed no less than three times by wardens.

Although Cheltenham Borough Council yet to agree to waive the charges, a spokesman suggested that the couple use the authority’s appeals process and indicated that the issue was likely to be considered sympathetically.

I really do feel for them.

Margaret Mills returned today to regale the tale of a very unorthodox military detachment that existed in Rochford during the period of the Napoleonic wars.

Listen again here to what Margaret had to say on this subject: –

See you once more next week,

You never know when you might need the First Responders


I was joined on this Bank Holiday by RON RIDGE from the Brentwood section of First Responders, who have been operating in Essex for over 20 years.

The original aim of the organisation was to provide early pre-hospital care to people living in areas that can be difficult to reach within those life critical early minutes following a heart attack, cardiac arrest or where a patient has lost consciousness.


You can listen here in more detail to what Ron told me about the organisation:-

If you are interested in joining, or perhaps helping First Responders, why not contact Ron by e-mail  – or via or take a look at their website

Later in the programme we heard about the Ohio man who called police after he found that he was being stalked on his way home by a pig!

And no he wasn’t drunk, he was truly being followed by the pig as it wanted to be petted!

Well there’s a thing!

See you once more tomorrow,

The Rutles at Cambridge

I went to a great gig in Cambridge on Tuesday. Now you probably need to be of a certain age to remember The Rutles but hang on because this is good stuff.

Neil Innes and The Rutles

The Rutles are a rock band known for their pastiches and parodies of the Beatles. Originally fictional band, created by Eric Idle and Neil Innes for Idle’s UK television comedy series Rutland Weekend Television, The Rutles, became an actual group – whilst remaining a parody of the Beatles – which toured and recorded, releasing many songs and albums that included two UK chart hits.
The Rutles gained fame after being the focus of the 1978 television film All You Need Is Cash (also known as The Rutles). Former Beatle George Harrison appeared in the film and assisted in its creation. Encouraged by the positive public reaction to the sketch, featuring Beatles’ music pastiches, It had 20 songs written by Innes, which he performed with three musicians as the Rutles.
Well The Rutles are back with their Major Happy Tour and on Tuesday I was lucky enough to see them perform in Cambridge. It brought some great memories back of their songs, most of which I probably haven’t heard for 30 years or more.
The Rutles Tour continues until the end of next month, catch them if you can

An accident waiting to happen!

Now I guess we all know someone who is a bit accident prone, but this guy takes the biscuit.

On second thoughts perhaps he’d better not as he’d probably choke on it!

Whilst bodyboarding in the ocean off Kauai last week Dylan McWilliams was attacked by a 6-8ft tiger shark.

Probably because he’s worked as a survival training instructor he was able to swim the 30m back to the shore where a bystander called paramedics.

“I didn’t know if I lost half my leg or what,” he said before receiving seven stitches in hospital.

OK you might say, that was just bad luck but wait for it because last year he had to have nine staples in his scalp after he was mauled by a black bear at a Colorado summer camp.

He was asleep outside when the bear started biting the back of his head.

He retaliated by punching the bear and poking it in the eye and just a couple of years before that he was attacked by a rattlesnake during a hiking trip.

And he’s only 20 years old.

Bets please now as to whether he’ll make it to his 21st.

In the second hour of today’s programme, Margaret Mills sought to bring about a calming atmosphere to tell us all about the Dutch Cottage on Crown Hill in Rayleigh.

If you missed it you can listen again here to what Margaret told me: –

See you again next week,

All about probate



I was joined once more today by BRIAN HUGHES, consultant solicitor for Shenfield based RAINER HUGHES. 

On this occasion, Brian chose to tackle the thorny issue of PROBATE and you can listen again here to what Brian told me today on this subject: – 

In the second hour of the show, we heard about the man who has been regularly dining on Big Macs since the day he passed his driving test back in 1972.

To celebrate the day he got his first set of wheels, Don Gorske knocked back 9 of them in one sitting and now, with much razzamatazz, he has returned to the site of that first meal to consume his 30,000th Big Mac.

Seemingly he can’t live without them and is very dismissive of other burger chains.

Reportedly he’s only missed eating a Big Mac on two days since that first one back in 1972 – once in 1994 when he somehow managed to drive 600 miles without sight of a McDonald’s – where was he, Outer Mongolia?

The second occasion was the day his mother died.

I’m surprised he’s still going strong with a diet like that!

See you again tomorrow,

Billericay Rugby Football Club – Season’s End Community Review – Joe Clarke

Billericay Rugby Football Club has been nominated for the inaugural Saracens Community Awards. As one of only 40 clubs selected within North London, Herts Kent and Essex the nomination recognises outstanding achievements made in developing community rugby.

Joe Clarke

Club President Joe Clarke said, “For me, this not only reflects on the impact we as a club have made to our local community through our rugby initiatives like the Saracens summer camp and the Derby day at the London Stadium but also the hard work all of our coaches put in on a weekly basis through our age grades to deliver the best experience we can in a safe and friendly environment.  Indeed, the hard work that Andy Collings has put in throughout the local schools and especially, more recently, in developing girls’ rugby on a Saturday morning should get a special mention.

But even outside of rugby, our club’s involvement in supporting local charities this season has been tremendous – from Tom Warr & Elliott Palmer’s very brave white collar boxing for Cancer Research UK; Keith Young organising the Tony Bond memorial that raised an amazing amount of funds for Prostate Cancer; as well as donations to Basildon Hospital Children’s cancer ward in support of Jake Fisk’s family; the Royal British Legion and the U16’s laying a wreath and Tyne Cot as well as supporting Pancreatic Cancer and the Fight Against Bullying at our recent Beefest.

I would like to thank Paul Bolton personally for his hard work in managing the summer camps and the tremendous effort he has put into the Derby Day’s over the last few years.

This is a truly a tremendous effort and one we should all take huge pride in.

Well done Billericay Rugby Football Club.

Mitsubishi Motors Volunteer of the Year Awards 2018

I recently received a nomination letter for the prestigious ‘Volunteer of the Year Award’ as part of the Mitsubishi Motors Volunteer Recognition Programme which provides grassroots rugby clubs and the rugby community with opportunities to recognise and reward the volunteers who make up such an integral part of the game.  These awards are presented in conjunction with the RFU and specifically, in this case, Essex RFU.

Whilst I am both honoured and humbled by the nomination it is without doubt a true reflection and culmination of everyone’s efforts and sustained hard work within Billericay Rugby Football Club.

This committed and sustained effort continues to provide the very best environment for all members to enjoy their rugby whether at age grade or senior rugby and is immeasurable in every way.  As a club we have had an amazing season from our TV appearance through to our annual Beefest.

Personally and on behalf of the Club I would like to thank each and every one of you that have contributed to what has been an outstanding season both on and off the pitch as well as within our local community.



The straw that broke the camel’s back!

Today we heard about the couple who’s combined weight of 55 stone has been blamed for breaking the suspension of two different vehicles belonging to a taxi company.

MARCUS EDWARDS and TAYLOR FAULKNER, have been using CENTREX CARS in Birmingham, to transport them to and from Marcus mother’s house as often as 4 times a day and always insist on a people carrier to allow Marcos to sit across the back seats.

But now the firm says that as over time Marcos’s girth has increased they no longer have a vehicle large enough to transport him and his partner so the couple will have to use another company.

For her historical gem this week, Margaret Mills transported us back to the 18th century and the tale of an Essex inhabitant of a house on the borders of East Hanningfield and Great Baddow.

When she became sick, she needed help from the parish but as her property straddled the parish border, there then followed an argument as to which of the two parishes would have to take responsibility.

In the end the matter was settled once it was established on which side of the bed she slept.

You can listen to the story in full here: –

See you once more next week,


A developing business

I was joined today by local wedding photographer, ROSS WILLSHER, who has also just written a book about planning your wedding.


In very broad terms the book is intended to guide couples how to have the wedding they want and avoid the stress of being pressured into other people’s ideas of the perfect wedding, all without getting into confrontational situations.

Listen again here to what Ross told me today: –

You can find out more by going to the following website   or you can e-mail Ross at

Keeping loosely to to the photographic theme in the second hour of the show we heard about a British photographer, DAVID SLATER who’s found himself in a lengthy legal battle in the USA with a 7-year old monkey.It seems that back in 2011, whilst playing with David’s camera, the monkey, named NARUTO, took a “selfie” and in 2015, animal rights group PEOPLE for the ETHICAL TREATMENT of ANIMALS (PETA) filed a law suit that sought to give NARUTO copyright over the selfie.

In spite of Mr Slater negotiating an out of court agreement last September under which Mr Slater donates 25% of the revenue he receives from the selfie to charities that protect crested macaques, and although the Court of Appeals has thrown out the case on multiple grounds, the group has declared that they intend to appeal the latest ruling.

Jeff Kerr, general counsel for PETA, said: “Naruto should be considered the author and copyright owner, and shouldn’t be treated any differently from any other creator simply because he happens to not be human.”

Mr Slater has been fighting the case from the UK, which not surprisingly has taken an emotional and financial toll on him. Even if he is finally compensated for his legal fees, with the Court battles set to continue it may be sometime before he will see any light at the end of the tunnel.

See you again tomorrow,


Billericay Volunteers Network – Carl Roberts

The Billericay Volunteers Network was set up in November 2016 in order to facilitate the growth of the volunteer community in Billericay. In June they’ll be holding their event “Volunteer Billericay 2018” Showcasing and celebrating volunteer opportunities in Billericay.
Joining me today to tell us all about it was Carl Roberts.

Carl Roberts

You can listen to our chat here –

You can find out more by visiting the Billericay Volunteers Website here

The Billericay Volunteers Network is proud to announce the launch of their first event, ‘Volunteer Billericay 2018’ taking place on 16 June 2018 at Billericay Library.

Featuring a selection of Billericay’s leading community groups and charities, this will be your chance to meet with community champions and learn about the volunteering opportunities available across the town.


Telegram with a message

There was a time when telegrams were the thing.

Telegrams were always read out at weddings and the big one, of course was the telegram said to be sent by the Monarch when you reached 100 years of age.

But today a TELEGRAM is something entirely different.

Although founded by Russian Entrepreneur, PAVEL DUROV, the Telegram Messenger Service is currently battling with authorities in that country, and now also IRAN where in an effort to get millions of Iranians to abandon the service, which it blames for promoting unrest they are promoting a domestically-produced mobile messaging app – SOROUSH – complete with a “Death to America” emoji.

Currently some 50 million Iranians, attracted by Telegram’s strong security and privacy features, use the app. But the authorities blame its use for the spread of anti-establishment protests in the country in December.

Soroush, which currently claims five million users, closely resembles Telegram in that it allows users to join channels, follow news, and conduct business online. But users don’t seem to be buying into assurances by officials – including the Supreme Leader himself – that user privacy will be fully protected on the domestic app.

Iran’s Supreme Cyberspace Council has issued a ban on the use of foreign apps by public institutions, amid reports that Telegram, as the most popular messaging app in Iran, may be blocked by the Iranian government any time soon.

Meanwhile, Iran’s Supreme Leader, president and other officials are still posting on their accounts on Twitter, despite being banned in the Islamic Republic, and Ayatollah Khamenei’s office is still active on Facebook. The Supreme Leader has seven pages on Twitter in different languages

Perhaps that is the only way to get their messages out!

In the second hour of today’s programme, Margaret Mills joined us to turn the clock back to the days when some one-time residents of Wickford in Essex named an area of Rhode Island in the USA in memory of their origins.

Listen again here to what Margaret told me today: –

See you again next week,

It’s holiday time!

Wow a Bank Holiday and the sun is shining! Miracle of miracles!

So in a show full of great “summer fun” classics we also took time out to take a peek at Britain’s First Flat Earth Convention that was held last weekend in a Birmingham hotel.

Two hundred converts gathered to hear convention organiser, GARY JOHN, declare that ‘People are waking up to an explosion of interest in flat earth theories and increasing mistrust of governments.’

Other speakers included NHS worker David Marsh who claims to have disproved planetary motion, using a Nikon camera and an app from his back garden.

Marsh said, ‘My research destroys big bang cosmology. It supports the idea that gravity doesn’t exist and the only true force in nature is electromagnetism.’

And the world of celebrities was represented by the likes of American rapper B.o.B. – aka Bobby Ray Simmons Jr and Former England cricketer ‘Freddie’ Flintoff who said, ‘If you’re in a helicopter and you hover why does the Earth not come to you if it’s round?

‘Why, if we’re hurtling through space, would water stay still? Why is it not wobbling? Also if you fire a laser about 16 miles, if the world was curved, you shouldn’t be able to see it but you can.’

He even claims to be warming to the idea of a global conspiracy to conceal the truth although you do have to wonder why governments would want to pretend that the earth is round, if it really is flat!

We also heard about the Korean airport cleaner who’s struck gold after finding seven gold bars worth a total of £240,000 whilst emptying a rubbish bin at Inchon International Airport on 26 April.

Under Korea’s “Finders Keepers” law if the owner doesn’t come forward to claim the bars within six months, the cleaner will be able to take ownership.

Now there’s a thing!

See you again tomorrow,

Offers galore!


On today’s, for me bonus show we heard about the “golden banana” – well priced at over £900 one might have expected it to be made of gold.

Actually it was all down to a computer error but he purchaser was pretty alarmed when her credit card company put a stop on her card!


Later we heard about an offer advertised in Birmingham to drivers of certain types of the larger car.

The giant mock up NHS poster appeared suggesting that male drivers of such vehicles might be entitled to free treatment which could potentially be beneficial in enhancing certain extremities of a confidential nature.

The telephone number provided was subsequently found to be unobtainable.

No individual or group has claimed responsibility for the poster which it was thought as having a dig at men buying big cars to overcompensate for other departments in which they might be lacking.

Some people thought the offer should have been extended to BMW, AUDI and Mercedes drivers.

I drive a KIA so what does that say about me?

See you next week

How to liven up your sports day event

We reported today on how one Chinese educational body plans to enliven their annual Sports Day.

Yes, believe it or not, they’ve dropped events such as the javelin and discus and replaced them with grenade-tossing.

Students taking part in the new programme will now be throwing wood handled grenades based on the German World War 2 stick grenade which was later adapted by the Chinese military.

We can but assume that they will not be using live grenades!

Margaret Mills returned today to tell us about a rather unsuccessful piece of equipment – THE DARBY DIGGER – designed by a Wickford based industrialist, Thomas Churchman Darby.

Listen again here to what Margaret had to say on this magnificent machine: –

See you again next time,

You can make it happen!

On my first day back after a week over in Norway, I was delighted to welcome back our old friend GILL TINEY to Phoenix FM.

Gill is one of the founder members of BE COLLABORATION, an organisation which aims to act as a link between different kinds of businesses where they can share experiences and advice, and has just written a book – THE MAKING OF A MOVEMENT.

This new book which details some of the ways that Gill overcame obstacles in her own life and dealings and is intended to help others to identify what they want to achieve, and perhaps more importantly, how to make that happen.

To learn more go to their website –

Their next event is happening right here in Essex this coming Thursday afternoon 3rd May at The Millenium Centre in Great Baddow between 3 and 6pm. After that you’d need to head over to Hertford on Friday the 11th May. Full details have been posted on their website.

Listen again here to what Gill told me today: –

We also heard about the French art museum who have just found out that over half their exhibits are fakes.

Over a 20-year period the local council bought the paintings, drawings and watercolours supposedly attributed to the locally born artist, ETIENNE TERRUS, a close friend of the painter, HENRI MATISSE for about £140,000.

It seems that matters came to light after an expert pointed out that some of the buildings depicted in the paintings, had not even been built during the artist’s lifetime!

Back to the drawing board – or should that be easel then?

See you again tomorrow,


Mike Jones chats to Judo and Superstars Legend Brian Jacks

Click here to listen to the interview:

Many of our listeners of a certain age will have fond and vivid memories of turning on BBC1 during primetime and watching the top athletes, footballers and boxers of the day taking part in a series of tests in a competition which had more than a passing resemblance to our own schools’ sports days.

They’ll also remember a guy slaying all comers with his unfeasibly high numbers of parallel bar dips and squat thrusts. So we were more than delighted to welcome legendary Superstars champion BRIAN JACKS into the studio today.

Brian was British and European champion in 1979 and British and International champion in 1980. He was, of course, highly successful in his original sport of judo too. Brian won Britain’s first medal at a world championship, taking a bronze in Salt Lake City in 1967, and also gained a bronze mdeal at the 1972 Munich Olympics.

As well as his career, Brian chatted about his biography The Mindset Of A Champion by Marc Gingell (who also visited the studio) and his current tour, which will take him to Blatches Bears Judo Club in Great Dunmow on 2 June and Southend on 13 June.

You can find out more about Brian at his official website here and also read up about his tour – sponsored by Plan Insurance Brokers – here.

No Fingers Crossed – live in the studio

Click here to listen the whole interview and session:

We were delighted to welcome Swedish duo No Fingers Crossed – Lasse Risberg and Micke Nilsson – to the studio today.

Lasse and Micke have been making music together for over 30 years, but this is the first time they have recorded together under the No Fingers Crossed name. Their musical careers have seen them playing with renowned celebrities such as Lionel Richie, Jon Lord and Paul Carrick along with Swedish musicians including Robert Wells, Jill Jonsson and Carola.

They told us about their careers and also played two songs for us live in the studio, which you can see below:

No Fingers Crossed’s debut album Ten Years Ten Songs is out now. You can find out more about the band at

Gilbert O’Sullivan – A New Album and Tour

Nearly fifty years after his first chart success Gilbert O’Sullivan continues to compose, record and perform his music.

With a new album out soon and a tour currently under way he’s a busy man right now, so I was more than pleased to welcome Gilbert O’Sullivan who joined me on the line today.

You can listen to our chat here –

You can find out more about the new album “Gilbert O’Sullivan” and the rest of the tour on Gilbert’s Website here

AD HOC Players -Fifteen Streets

Set in 1910, this is the simple yet evocative story of one family’s fight for physical and moral survival in the poverty and squalor of the dockland slums of Tyneside. At the centre of the tale of tragedy, humour, intrigue and love, is the apparently impossible love affair between rugged docker John O’Brien and Mary Llewellyn, a schoolteacher.

Directed by Wendi Sheard.

Shealagh White who stars in the show came to the studio to talk about the production

You can hear the interview again here

The Billericay Soapbox Derby 2018 – Peter Greene and Les Sheppard

It’s almost time for one of Billericay’s major annual events – The Billericay Soapbox Derby which raises thousands of pounds for charity. This year’s event takes place on Bank Holiday Monday 7th May. Today I was joined in the studio by Peter Greene and Les Sheppard from Billericay Rotary Club.

Peter and Les

You can listen to our chat about this great family fun event here –

You can find out more about the Soapbox Derby here

You can purchase tickets in advance here

Tickets can also be purchased in various local businesses and shops. Details are in the interview.

Have a fun day supporting this great local charity event!

Barry “Bash” Galvin – Interview and Live Session

When my colleague, sports presenter Chris Hood told me he had a guest for my show I was unsure what to expect. Barry Galvin is a regular contributor to Chris’s show The Orient Hour on Sunday evenings, but Barry is also an accomplished singer/song writer, and it was in this guise that he joined me today.

Barry Galvin

I’m delighted to say that Barry was a fabulous guest who writes brilliant thoughtful songs and performs them flawlessly. My favourite was “Your Soulful Eyes” the final song he performed.

You can listen to the entire session and interview here –

Thanks Bash!