Sometimes Cupid makes mistakes, getting people to fall in love with those who are indifferent to them. And sometimes his mistakes take a disastrous turn — when people fall in love with those who perceive them only as friends. What a sophisticated torture — to see your crush at an arm’s length distance, realizing that in fact, the distance between your hearts amounts to thousands of light years.

But this is not the end. According to a study, approximately half of young women and about 34% of young men at least once in life had relationships with their former friends. And starting from the age of 30 this ratio for men and women is gradually compared.

So, let’s dive into the dating tips and tricks we have prepared and find out how to get out of the friend zone and what to do to forget about it as a scary dream. With this information, you’ll have all the chances to transform your relationship from “just being friends” to a loving couple.

What Does Friend Zone Mean?

A friend zone phenomena is a notorious situation when a male or female wants to have a romantic relationship with his or her close friend, who doesn’t reciprocate that interest. Typically, the problem of getting out of the friend zone mostly affects men. But the opposite situations, where women fall in love with men who don’t perceive them as objects of romantic breakups, are becoming increasingly common too.

The second moment you should know about is that your object of passion can both be informed about your feelings or do not have any idea about them. Generally, this term refers to all forms of unrequited affection.

Sitcoms Don’t Lie

And here is an interesting fact for those who are stuck in the friend zone just to unwind and feel nostalgic a bit: believe it or not, but the story of this term starts in one of the iconic American sitcom television series, Friends. Yes, symbolic and ironic coincidence, we know. The name of this sitcom in our context speaks for itself.

So, in the seventh episode of the first season, Joe admonishes Ross who admires Rachel about the time window in which any pair of people who’ve just met has a potential to develop a romantic relationship. Joe says that if a mutual passion hasn’t flashed in their hearts in that period, the probability of romance developing for them is exceedingly low, and if they continue to see each other, they automatically move to the friend zone even if this breaks the heart of one of the parties.

In those words, Joe accurately describes the situation not only between Rachel and Ross, but between thousands and thousands of people of all ages worldwide. Sad, but true. Nevertheless, it’s all fixable in most cases —  it’s quite real to get out of the friend zone. But before we get to the point, let’s find out how people get trapped in it — where they turn the wrong way and which signs are a dead giveaway that you are stuck in it.

Clear Signs You’re Stuck in Friend Zone

The main verbal sign of you being not her love story hero is that your crush emphasizes that you two are just friends, especially if she is aware of your attitude toward her.

And here are some other signs that should alarm you:

• There are no flirt vibes. Roughly speaking, if your crush calls you to watch movies or reinstall Windows, she actually means watching movies, soft reinstallation, political debates, and whatever else but romantics or dates. Constant teasing of each other, like friends do, belongs here too.
• You never stay alone. If there’s always someone else with you on your meetings, you are probably stuck in friend zone. Bad sign.
• Active discussion of current love life. The person is not afraid to tell you about her sympathies, and current and potential relationships, and doesn’t make any moves to your relationship.
• Dodging intimacy. When you make a step to romance, your crush steps back to neutral communication.
• You are a shoulder to cry on. If your love interest vents to you when someone breaks her heart and your candidacy is not considered, even when she is not in a relationship, it’s definitely the time to read our tips about getting out of friendzone.
• Matchmaking. The person tries to find you a pair, setting you up with other people.
• No physical contact. You don’t kiss and don’t have sex (if you are a minor, do not rush with this, in your case, the absence of willingness to hug or kiss is already a clear indicator).

Moreover, sex is also not a guarantee of the possibility of getting a romantic relationship — the person might think you are friends with benefits. So, you should consider all the criteria in complex.

Ways to Get Out of the Friend Zone

The friend zone is a nightmare for any man who is in love. But even if you are trapped there, there are several things that can be done. So, here are 5 steps you can make.

1. Think of yourself first

Do not tie your whole life to the desires and caprices of your beloved; live your own life by your own rules. This is the very first step to the answer to the question of how to get out of the friend zone. Shift the priorities from meeting with your crush and solving her issues to yourself — meetings with friends, hobbies, sports, study, work, and everything else that pleases you. The main person in your life is you, not her, remember that.

2. Build your confidence

Increase your self-esteem and move to the best version of yourself. But not for her or for some other girl, not for being loved by somebody in the future, but just for you. Yes, that’s simple. Focus on hobbies, personal growth opportunities, volunteering, meeting with a psychologist or your friends. Pick up an instrument, start singing or writing a novel, try yourself in boxing or other sports. Do anything that makes you feel confident, competent, and appreciated. The only judge and jury for you is you. Focus on your goals, your life, and your development.

3. Take a distance

Make yourself less available. Don’t run like hell on the first call. If you follow the two previous tips, it will happen by itself. Other friends, solo activities, reading books, going to sports, etc. Stop changing your plans to the detriment of yourself. First you, and then the others, including your crush. Let the girl have a chance to miss you and initiate your contact by herself sometimes. And after a while, don’t accept every single invitation to hang out with her, it’s the next level of escaping the friend zone. 

We are not speaking about silent treatment, just ease up a little and be a star of your own story.

4. Go on the attack

With the strong support of yourself, you are ready for the next move. And the obvious answer to how to get out of the friendzone is to take a chance and offer something more. You can do it both verbally and nonverbally. If you are afraid to ask your crush about her feelings or state your intentions in words, take action and keep watching.

Get more physical contact and watch her body language respond. Gaze into her eyes, flirt, compliment, tease and see how she reacts to your actions. If she reciprocates, it’s a green light. If she doesn’t, she’ll stiffen or shrink back, say she is uncomfortable or show it nonverbally. And, of course, if she repeats that hateful phrase that you are just friends, you should shift the focus to someone else, forever, or at least for some time.

You owe nothing to this woman, but she owes you nothing as well. You may just not be on the same page; it happens.

5. State your intentions 

Ask the girl about her feelings or ask her for a date — talk to your crush.

“She friendzoned me but gets jealous” — if you are in similar situation, you two totally have to sort things out. Maybe your crush changed her mind and potentially may consider you as a lover. But it can be a commonplace jealousy and possessiveness. So state your intentions and ask your crush about her feelings toward you.

You two need that moment of the truth. And if she doesn’t have a clear answer for you, don’t waste your time on that girl. You always know if you like somebody or not. And if the girl evades the answer, that answer is “No”. Some girls abuse boys’ feelings. And it doesn’t matter if she is one of those women or just wants to stay friends with you, don’t waste your time. And if you are ready, it’s time for you to get back on the dating scene. It can be both the end of your love story with this person and its beginning, when she realizes that you were something more than two friends.

Conclusion

As you can see, all five answers to how to get out of the friendzone are rather simple. But there is no magic bullet to make the other person to love you. If you followed this algorithm and your crush didn’t reciprocate your romantic interest despite this, step back and move on without her. “No” means “No”, and you deserve to be loved. Plenty of fish are in the sea, so respect your friend’s choice and There are plenty of fish in the sea, so respect your friend’s choice and respect yourself. You can may, and you will be happy.