On today’s show we learnt about the strange letter recently sent to parents whose offspring attend a fee paying school in Jersey.

Yes amazingly Carl Howarth, the principal of Jersey College for Girls a fee paying school in St Helier, Jersey has had to write a letter to parents denying reports that the school has installed cat litter trays in its toilets.

In his letter Mr Howarth says, I really cannot believe I’m writing this but we have been aware for some time of rumours that we have installed cat litter trays in our toilets.We had thought that, as it was so clearly nonsense and utterly ludicrous, these rumours would naturally stop without our involvement, but bizarrely that doesn’t seem to be the case. so can I please ask you to correct anyone who may raise the matter with you!

Well you’ve got to admit that it makes a change from the usual “run of the mill” letter about forthcoming trips or non-uniform days!

We also reported on the Russian woman who’s been fined for “discrediting the Russian military” after she was overheard describing the Ukrainian president as “handsome with a good sense of humour”, something which seems to be lacking in the law courts in Moscow!

Yes, OLGA SLEGINA has been fined 40,000 roubles – that’s about £400 for ‘discrediting the Russian military’ by calling Ukrainian president Zelensky a ‘handsome young man who she thought had a good sense of humour. 

Apparently she was overheard by a waitress talking to a woman from Odessa in Ukraine. The waitress also joined in the conversation, calling Mr Zelensky ugly and a freak.

Just three days later she was told to sign a document which she couldn’t read properly due to cataracts, and which in any event had been altered  

The court hearing in Moscow is reported to have lasted no more than 5 minutes.

Mrs Slegina intends to appeal. 

Well good luck with that then!

All being well I hope you can join me back on parade at 1pm tomorrow,
Scott