Meaningful dates are difficult to find because it is rare to find someone who shares your values, sparks instant chemistry, and is after the same type of relationship as you.

Like the proverbial needle in the haystack, it can be soul-destroying to go on date after date without finding anyone who you actually connect with. Despite this, however, finding meaning in your dates is not as hard as you might imagine.

All it takes is a mindset readjustment in order to get the best from yourself and your date.

Here’s how:

Desperation gets you nowhere

The most important mindset shift to be aware of is to avoid desperation. 

While few of us would actually regard ourselves as desperate, it doesn’t take much for neediness to creep in. If you haven’t been on a date for a while, or crave a genuine connection with someone, then you may subconsciously lower your standards and pursue the first match you go on a date with, even if they aren’t on the same page as you.

Sadly, while this may come from a good place, desperation can easily scare people off. In Gen Z vernacular, this is called simping. It is widely seen as unattractive because it demonstrates that you don’t value yourself enough. The dates will, ironically, become less meaningful as a result.

Learn about the new dating terms used by the Gen Z population and find out what simping is.

You can overcome this by working out why you might be feeling desperate for a connection. 

There’s no shame in it, but understanding why you need a date or relationship will help you come to terms with the fact that it might not happen straight away but that there’s nothing wrong with it.

Consider working on yourself before reaching out to others

Another approach for finding meaningful dates is to work on yourself before trying to match up with others. After all, you can’t have a successful relationship if one partner is not happy with themselves or has not sorted out their own emotional baggage, and it is the same with dating. 

Although you might be eager to jump back into the dating pool, make sure you’re dating for the right reason. If you realize that secretly you just want to get one over your ex-partner, or you are dating because all your friends are settling down and you don’t want to be left behind, then you probably aren’t ready to find meaningful dates.

Dating is supposed to be fun, not pressurized

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, dating is meant to be fun. So often, it is easy to pile pressure on yourself and your match to make a date meaningful and to force a connection between the two of you. This is a recipe for disaster because genuine chemistry cannot be manufactured. 

It can, however, be encouraged by certain mindsets.

Instead of trying to impress your match the whole date by going to a particular restaurant or trying too hard to be funny, why not do something you actually enjoy?

If there is a movie you’ve been dying to watch or an activity you’ve always wanted to try, then take your date along. They will see you at your happiest and most relaxed, which is the key to finding meaningful dates.