Well that’s the first of the two worst months of the year out of the way!
So what gems do we have for you today?
Well first off let’s go back to the days of the 1950’s when apparently men wore the trousers and women knew their place!
Yes a 1950’s leaflet telling men how to train their wives has just emerged.
This guide promises to show how to get wives to respond instantly to cues such as the snapping of fingers to fetch slippers, stand quietly at your side you whilst you read the paper, which she has obediently brought to your easy chair.
It goes on to explain that you should expect your wife to massage your feet, bring you ice cold beers on demand, whilst wearing nothing more than a cellophane wrap!
It is not reported how long the author of this leaflet spent in hospital after trying out these suggestions at home.
If I had the temerity to even think about applying any of these ideas I can guarantee an instant response, totally at odds with the results promised in this guide. Undoubtedly I would form a neat target for the slippers (and probably something a good deal heavier) whilst the ice cold beer would likely end up over my head and in my lap.
Still one can but dream!
In the second hour we heard about the restaurant owner in New York who had suffered so badly from the effects of the interminable lock downs, that in desperation decided to torch his establishment and claim on his insurance.
Now if you plan to defraud your insurance company, it’s probably a good idea to remember the safeguards you’d installed in the establishment, like the security cameras and sprinkler system.
Points which were overlooked by 54-year old restaurant owner, ASIF RAJA who was captured on video as he tried to incinerate his business in the Queens area of New York City.
Cameras recorded his attempts to set fire to the establishment, only for the sprinkler system to promptly extinguish the inferno.
Mr Raja is now facing a prison sentence of between 5 and 20 years.
Well that worked well, then.
I’ll see you again tomorrow,
Scott