On today’s music packed edition of the show, we did our best to keep references to our present predicament to a minimum, and instead concentrate on other people’s misfortunes.
First off we took time out to look at the surprise gift organised for a 64-year old French defence company executive, by his colleagues.
Given that the surprise gift turned out to be a “joyride” on a military jet, they could now be his ex colleagues!
Having never previously flown on a military plane, he had no idea what to expect but due to peer pressure, felt unable to turn down the offer.
French military health regulations state that passengers who board fighter planes must undergo a medical assessment 10 days before any flight, but given the surprise element involved, on this occasion the military chose to ignore this ruling.
A pity really given his complete lack of any military aviation experience.
Medical advice had suggested that it might be wise to minimise the effects of the 3.7g force which occurs at take off, so his seat straps were loosened to allowed him to “float up”, but being somewhat stressed, and overwhelmed by the moment, he unfortunately neglected to tighten his straps and helmet.
As the plane gathered speed to 320 MPH and reached a height of some 2500 feet, he grabbed the nearest thing to hang onto as the plane hurtled through the air.
Unfortunately what he grabbed turned out to be the ejector seat handle, which resulted in his being flung from the aircraft, thereby losing his helmet and oxygen mask into the bargain.
Fortunately the man’s parachute worked properly and he landed in a field close to the German border.
Mercifully he sustained only minor injuries, and due to a technical malfunction the pilot failed to be ejected as he should have been, so although suffering some minor injuries from the broken glass canopy, was able to land the plane safely.
I suspect that questions will be asked – and someone’s going to be in a lot of trouble!
In the second hour we returned to these shores to hear about the trials and tribulations caused to a woman from Leeds following her revelation that she had struck up a romantic relationship with a 91-year old chandelier, she calls LUMIERE.
Following a report in THE SUN newspaper last year, she unsuccessfully took the paper to court alleging “sexual discrimination”.
The Sun columnist, JANE MOORE had awarded AMANDA LIBERTY from Leeds with the Dagenham Award (Two stops past Barking), after it was reported that Ms Liberty had married a chandelier-style light fitting and asked if she was “Dim or Dimmer”.
M/s Liberty who claims that her sexual orientation to inanimate objects, described in one academic paper as “objectum sexual”, has spoken of her plans for a commitment ceremony to LUMIERE, to show the world that “my love is going to last”.
She also pointed out to the Press Standards Organisation (IPSO) that she was not actually married to the chandelier, but merely in a relationship.
In its defence, the newspaper said it was unaware of “any reputable definition of sexual orientation which included “objectum sexual’”.
Summing up the regulator said that whilst it ‘recognised that the complainant found the article to be offensive and upsetting’, added that the IPSO code ‘does not cover issues of taste and offence – newspapers are free to publish information as they see fit as long as the Editors’ Code is not otherwise breached’.
Let’s hope that M/s Liberty and the light of her life can now live together “happily ever after”.
Naturally given that the chandelier is 91-years old, she won’t want to keep it hanging around for too long!
I’ll see you again tomorrow,
Scott
