Brentwood, 3.25am: 9°C, haze

Another music packed extravaganza!

With Valentine’s Day on the horizon, we started out today’s programme by looking at a brilliant idea if a relationship has broken down.

Yes it seems that for a fee, a company called EXPOCART, will produce a 6 foot roller banner on which you can list all the nasty things your ex has done.

The banner can include a personal message and be displayed wherever you decide – in the town centre, outside your ex’s home, wherever you like!

Each banner will have a personalised/bespoke design, can include a picture of yourself, and links to your social media – but no photos of your ex, nor their full name – but note the company is restricting this deal to a total of just 10 banners and the most deserving 10 have already been chosen for this year, but clearly you have plenty of time to book your place for next year.

We also took time out to report on a job with a difference, currently being advertised.

An online company is looking for someone to test their – shall we call them – SPECIALIST PRODUCTS OF AN ADULT NATURE.

And with an annual salary of £38k, the pay’s not bad either!

The successful applicant to secure the post of INTIMATE CUSTOMER SERVICES MANAGER, will be sent a load of adult items each month, about which they will be required to provide an in-depth analysis, listen to problems users are reporting and suggest advice on how the user experience might be improved.

The company says it receives 500 enquiries every month from customers wanting more information about how to get the best out of their discrete purchases and suggestions of what other items might compliment their existing purchases.

Claiming that their team has been doing their best to answer these enquiries, they now feel that the time has come to employ someone who has personal experience of such intimate products, as well as excellent customer service skills.

So if this sounds like you and want to apply why not throw your name into the hat and apply now.

There’s no answer to that!

See you again tomorrow,

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