Brentwood, 6.53pm: 21°C, few clouds

A One-2-THREE Merry Christmas

Yay – it’s Christmas Eve and Santa’s on his way – yes truly!

But some things never change and fortunately in spite of all the hustle and bustle there are still a lot of strange happenings going on, about which we can derive a few laughs.


First off today we heard about the retired church volunteer from Nottingham who’s efforts to prepare a Church nativity scene, attracted the attention of the local constabulary, who after spotting the sight of “limbs” on the kitchen table, accused her of dismembering bodies!

In fact they were, of course, just old mannequin dolls that were being sold off locally at £30 apiece.

Following news that an American radio station has banned the Christmas favourite, “Baby it’s Cold Outside”, comes news of moves to censor the song “Fairy Tale of New York” which was recorded in 1987 by The Pogues and Kirst MacColl. It seems that the use of the word “faggot” has given rise to suggestions of a “homophobic slur” . This in spite of the claim that the reference is actually an old Irish slang word meaning lazy.

We also heard about the woman from Scotland preparing for her son’s, appearance in his school’s nativity play, who bought an outfit from Amazon, listed as ‘Labreeze kids boys brown shepherd costume nativity fancy dress outfit complete with inflatable sheep’.


The shepherd outfit was perfect but when she started to inflate the sheep she realised that something was amiss as the fully inflated sheep exhibited a huge hole in it’s bottom as well as red lips and eyelashes. 

She subsequently found the same product advertised elsewhere sporting a very different description! 

Amazon has since withdrawn the product from its website.

So there you are. Well that’s me done for this week.

I’ll see you again next Monday – New Year’s Eve so in the meantime, may I wish you a very Merry Christmas,


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