Brentwood Town 1-1 Maldon & Tiptree
Billericay Town 3-1 AFC Hornchurch
Kingstonian 2-3 East Thurrock United
Rochdale 2-2 Dagenham & Redbridge
Southend United 2-1 Exeter City
FULL TIME: And the curtain comes down on an afternoon of football created by the League of Gentlemen. I wouldn’t be surprised to see road signs for Royston Vasey as we leave.
In truth, neither team deserved to win. Nothing too much was created, just an exciting spell just before half time. The only thing that roused things up after that was a bizarre sending off. At least it didn’t rain.[audio:https://www.phoenixfm.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/5-Brentwood-1-1-Maldon-FT.mp3|titles=5 – Brentwood 1-1 Maldon FT]
Pics from today’s extravaganza can be found here … https://www.flickr.com/photos/phoenixfmsport/sets/72157631597518286/
Anyway, next up will be East Thurrock United’s FA Trophy clash with Hassocks next week (great name, great name). Until then, enjoy your week, and your football.
90th + 2 – Elliott Justham is forced into a reflex save after a shot comes in from the visitors about 10 yards out just to the left of goal.
Injury Time: It could be 60 seconds, it could be 3 hours, the way today has gone.
88th min – RED CARD FOR BRENTWOOD TOWN Steve Butterworth goes after another foul. Or dissent. Or something. Nobody really knows why. Surreal. Again.
85th min – More handbags after an altercation which results in Danny Dafter earning a yellow card. For no reason at all, the lino cops it from the spectators. I think people just like to moan because he’s done nothing wrong today. Chortle.
82nd min – It’s so frustrating here. Both teams are playing neat build-up stuff. But as soon as the ball nears the area, nobody seems willing to chance their arm. Walking the ball in indeed. I think they’d rather lie down and poke it with their nose rather than shoot.
79th min – So to summarise elsewhere, excellent wins for Billericay Town and East Thurrock United in the FA Cup. Really good comebacks resulting in a win for Southend United and a draw for Dagenham & Redbridge in League Two. And at least it’s not raining here.
75th min – Ooh, almost excitement. M & T break on the left, it’s played inside the area on the right, where Chris Bryan is in space. He’s also offside, though, so the danger passes.
70th min – Break for an injury. Still nothing going on apart from that. Danny Dafter had a shot at goal but it was easily blocked and dealt with.[audio:https://www.phoenixfm.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/4-Brentwood-1-1-Maldon-Mid-2nd.mp3|titles=4 – Brentwood 1-1 Maldon Mid 2nd]
65th min – Nothing to report on here. I wonder if Derren Brown is controlling the players. They seem to be in some sort of stupor, although the exact phrase is, erm, something or other in a trance. Anyway, didn’t I say the League Two sides had time to turn it round? Oh yes.
60th min – The game has fallen back into pre-season friendly mode. It’s as if everyone is daydreaming. Hey guys, that’s my job, that my thing, daydreaming during the game. Meanwhile Sherwin Stanley comes on for Abs Thompson.
56th min – Some handbags breaks out off the ball, which nobody saw start. The ref, a good one today, calms it down quickly. Looks like a cracker at Kingstonian.
52nd min – Nice Maldon & Tiptree move down the left ends in a shot that goes well wide, across the face of goal. They appeal for a penalty, as a tackle came in after the shot, but the ref isn’t interested.
48th min – A rugged start to the second half. The ref misses an elbow to one of the visiting players. I would say the host player was using his arms to jockey for position, rather than a malicious elbow, but it looked painful. He’s up and running again, though, so all’s ok.
4.25pm – Kick Off! Brentwood in light blue, Maldon & Tiptree in their beautiful orange strip.
HALF TIME: A surreal afternoon, a surreal 45 minutes. For the vast majority of the first half, it was like a pre-season friendly. Then as soon as the hosts opened the scoring, it all livened. Toss of a coin, this, who wins this one.[audio:https://www.phoenixfm.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/3-Brentwood-1-1-Maldon-HT.mp3|titles=3 – Brentwood 1-1 Maldon HT]
Anyway, I’m off for a Bovril and a dose of reality. Laters.
41st min – GOAL ….. Brentwood Town 1, MALDON & TIPTREE 1 That’s how to respond! I’m busy trying to do the report of the first goal, I look up, and MICHAEL TONER, inside the area, shoots into the roof of the net. How it got there, I don’t know, but the finish was emphatic.[audio:https://www.phoenixfm.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Brentwood-1-1-Maldon.mp3|titles=Brentwood 1-1 Maldon]
38th min – GOAL! ….. BRENTWOOD TOWN 1, Maldon & Tiptree 0 And what a cracker. A cross field pass finds ALEX READ just inside the right hand edge of the area. He controls and shoots low. It’s a beauty and ends up in the far corner of the net.[audio:https://www.phoenixfm.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Brentwood-1-0-Maldon.mp3|titles=Brentwood 1-0 Maldon]
36th min – Half times elsewhere. Great stuff from Billericay Town and East Thurrock United in the FA Cup. Not so good in League Two but plenty of time left.
31st min – After seeing that Sunderland are ahead at West Ham (chortle) I look up in time to see Steve Butterworth put a shot just inside the area on the right across the face of goal, missing by about a foot.
27th min – Maldon & Tiptree go just as close. Chris Bryan and Jamie Guy combine and force a corner on the left. From that, Michael Toner has a free header at goal in the six yard box, but it goes wide of the left hand post.
25th min – Ooh, that was close. A corner to Brentwood Town on the right is taken short, the cross goes in, and Lee Blackburn is centimetres wide.
21st min – Ryan Doyle admits defeat and is substituted for Connor Witherspoon. The Brentwood conditioner bemoans players turning up in flip-flops and summer wear when the cold air starts to come, like today.
18th min – Still no real chance, bar just now where Ryan Doyle pulling up with a hamstring problem provided the visitors with a bit of extra space, but the shot, after being charged down, was easily collected by Elliott Justham. Ryan’s up and back on, too.
13th min – Maldon & Tiptree’s Jamie Guy tries a long shot but it’s well over.
7th min – It now livens up a little with a nasty foul on Abs Seymour on the right touchline near the halfway line, for which M & T’s Johnathan Glowacki is booked. The ref tries to play advantage, but of course, nothing comes of it. After a bit of treatment, Abs is ok.
5th min – Nothing of any note. I think both teams are a little out of kilter with the delayed start. The main point of interest has been kids climbing over the seats. Just concrete below. Their could be tears.
3.23pm – Kick Off! At last.
3.19pm – The teams come out to a surreal atmosphere.
3.18pm – Team News: Brentwood Town’s starting XI is: 1 – Elliott Justham. 2 – Ryan Doyle. 3 – Abs Seymour. 4 – Sam West. 5 – Darren Blewitt. 6 – Danny Dafter. 7 – Abs Thompson. 8 – Lee Blackburn. 9 – Alex Read. 10 – Steve Butterworth. 11 – Greg Cousins.
3.16pm – Even better news! East Thurrock United open the scoring in their tricky tie at Kingstonian, Kris Newby the scorer. Get in there
3.15pm – Hurrah! Billericay Town take the lead in their derby FA Cup clash against Hornchurch through Alex Osborn.
3.05pm – Elsewhere, in Singapore, Lewis Hamilton is on pole position again. Then it’s Maldonado (!), Vettel, Button and Alonso. Fernando said it was Leis he respected more than anyone the other day, and recent form seems to bear that out.[audio:https://www.phoenixfm.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/F1-Singapore-Qualifying-Report.mp3|titles=F1 – Singapore Qualifying Report]
This world title ain’t over. Not by a long chalk.
3.00pm – They think that kick-off my be underway by 3.20pm. All word of mouth, this, but the talk is that the reserve official called up, after one of the linesmen pulled out, thought it was a 4pm kick-off.
In the meantime, I’ve been chatting with Brentwood Town’s physical conditioner. Another one of those characters you meet in non league, he’s a boxer and conditions other athletes as well. He was great for banter the other night.
At least it’s nice and sunny here, but no action yet.
2.30pm – Match Delayed A very good afternoon to you and yours from The Arena, home of mighty Brentwood Town, for a tasty looking FA Cup encounter with Maldon & Tiptree.
I say mighty as that is exactly what ‘Wood’s performance against Harlow Town was in midweek. Weathered the early home storm, took their first chance, then pulverised the Hawks in the second half.
There is, however, a delay in proceedings as the match officials haven’t yet turned up! We are at the moment looking at a 3.30pm kick-off.
In the meantime, looking at the game itself, Maldon & Tiptree will be no pushovers though. Manager Terry Spillane, his coaches, and plenty of players, enjoyed huge success in the Cup last season, making the 2nd round after a number of notable scalps. Although I know from personal experience that letting Terry know when Spurs are getting beat annoys him immensely. Chortle.
Elsewhere, ooh, it’s a good ‘un over at New Lodge, where it’s another Conference South Essex derby tie, and East Thurrock United have an intriguing trip to leafy Surrey.
As ever, keep refreshing the page every few minutes, from 3pm onwards, and the road to Wembley will be made that much clearer.
GAME ON! (… maybe)