The names Bond, James Bond.....

The names Bond, James Bond…..

Written by Chris Stagg in Words and Sound👁 10,599

Tuesday 3 March 2015, 9.36pm

Well hello James Bond fans… Pull up a chair and let me tell you why you will never see the best ever James Bond film. Oh you already have seen it? Goldfinger you say? Goldfinger is one of the best, but its not THE best. The James Bond film with the greatest lost potential is the man with the Golden Gun. It is flawed in many ways but it had the potential to be great. And still is in my opinion a really good Bond film and certainly Roger Moore’s best.

The Man with the Golden Gun is good. Lets start from this point from the off set. However it could have been much better, and I think is highly underrated as it is. So starting with The Man with the Golden Gun as our template, lets turn it into a truly fantastic Bond film.

One of the most iconic parts of the Bond franchise is the intro themes. Lulus track (conveniently titled The Man with the Golden Gun) has it all and is a perfect Bond theme. (If you listened to the ‘Words & Sound’ Bond special a few weeks ago, you will know it is my favorite Bond theme.) The music itself is truly memorable. the main motif of the track is repeated again and again throughout the film. It is given an Eastern twist in Hi-Fats dojo, a western vibe in Scaramangas fun house, and we hear it slowed right down for the *ahem, intimate sections! Lulus voice is distinctive and powerful enough to slice through the music and lift it to something special. Theme tune…you can stay!

Now to Bond himself. Roger Moore, you are my Bond, but I’m afraid to say in this case you have to go. Francisco Scaramanga is one villain who will not (or rather should not) be beaten by a mere raised eyebrow. We need someone who can be as dark as Daniel Craig when the mood strikes him and has the ability to play for laughs like Moore (in small quantities). Ladies and gentlemen we need someone Scottish. Of course we need Sean Connery. Connery’s is in many ways the most iconic Bond interpretation, and with so many colourful aspects to The Man with the Golden Gun, we need a Bond you can set your watch by. So we give Moore the elbow, and shoehorn Connery into Vodka Martini duties. Plus imagine how “Francisco Scaramanga” will sound with Sean Connery’s accent!!

Next the staple of the Bond franchise… The Henchman. For me there is only one Bond Henchman. You can keep your Tee Hee Johnson’s and your Odd Job’s. As far as I’m concerned the only henchman worthy of the position of silent intimidation is… Jaws! Jaws, a henchman so good (or rather bad) that they brought him back to life for Moonraker. Richard Kiels performance in the Spy who loved Me, still gives me chills today. I remember the first time I saw the scene at the Egyptian Pyramids, where Jaws bites through a padlocked gate. That has stuck with me since I was a boy. The altercation that he has with Bond where he literally rips the van apart with his bare hands. The scene on the train where Jaws nearly puts the chompers on Bond, easily overpowering him and only stunned enough by 240v for Bond to get away. And finally the death scene. Jaws is dropped into a tank with a great white shark. Spoiler alert, they don’t call him Jaws for nothing and the shark never had a chance! Jaws…your in!

Before we get to the final point a quick aside to talk about Sheriff J W Pepper. He appeared in the first 2 Roger Moore films and possibly the first 3 (I try to block it out!)….why!? Why on earth is he in it!? He has no convincing role in the plot and the narrative slows completely when hes in it. Aside from the technicalities of it, hes just bloody annoying. J W Pepper, you have no business in our perfect bond film….get out son!

Finally the villain. Ah Francisco Scaramanga, the eponymous Man with the golden Gun. Christopher Lee plays this perfectly. there can be no one else who could have played it how Lee did. He really shows his versatility as an actor (coming off the back of many many Hammer Horrors). He manages to be domineering, mysterious, and somehow endearing. Whenever I watch the film, I cant help feel sad with the way he goes. He should have been much more of a challenge for Bond. Christopher Lee is incredibly underrated in this role, as is the character itself. If in doubt just search online for the scene where he coolly assassinated Hai Fat and takes over his empire…with his slightly comic one liner (“He always loved that mausoleum…put him in it”) he is like the ‘Anti-Bond!’ Christopher lee, we salute you, and Francisco Scaramanga, your in!