Being a Tuesday it was time to welcome Frances Clamp who had a monster story to tell.

But before all that we learnt about the potential horror lurking in the loo ready to pounce on the unsuspecting victim. Mark you the problem only applies if you are the proud owner of a luxury Japanese made Satis loo costing £3800. The loo features automatic flushing, bidet and air-dry functions as well as raising and lowering the lid. The problem is that since the functions are controlled by an app, anyone close enough can give users an unexpected high pressure colonic irrigation blast or even play inappropriate tunes, via its in-built speakers, such as “Golden Brown” by The Stranglers, or perhaps, “Push It” by Salt-N-Pepper .

After hearing about that it was a pleasure to learn all about Thomas Wood, who lived in Billericay between 1719 and 1783. It seems that he was known all over the world and had the nickname, The Monster Miller of Billericay. He was especially famous for a living on an abstemious diet of a home made bread pudding and giving up all forms of alcohol which resulted in an amazing improvement in his health.

You can listen again to what Frances told me right here:- Bygones 6th August

Right that’s it from me. See you next week,

Scott