Each day that I’ve sat in for Michelle this week I’ve looked at some oddball news items and I’ve saved, what I think is the best, for last.

First off we had the story of a 3-year old boy who slept for three days after accidentally discovering and eating his grandmother’s cookies made with cannabis! Seemingly the grandmother suffers from cancer and her doctor had recommended marijuana to treat her pain. The grandmother says she’s not going to make any more. When he gets out of hospital perhaps the lad might be tempted by Grandma’s “pot noodle”.

Meanwhile health officials in Switzerland have banned a chef from serving clients at his Zurich restaurant with pizzas topped with poisons from spiders, scorpions and snakes extracted from homeopathic medicines. The restauranteur says his toppings are less harmful than most preservatives added to many foods today, but the authorities assert that medicinal products are not foodstuffs and cannot be used as ingredients in food.

Well if you were concerned about eating poison topped pizzas, how about sitting down to a meal with these women. The first woman likes to tuck into rocks and stones. No not the sort of rock you find on sale at the seaside or even rock cakes, but the real thing. Over the past 20 years she has consumed 215 stone (no pun intended) or 1360 kg of rocks – the weight of your average humpback whale!

Woman number 2, although still only 21 years old has managed to scoff 4000 sponges and 100 bars of soap! She even likes to spice them up with hot relish, mustard, BBQ sauce, jam, honey or tomato ketchup. She says she prefers fruit flavoured sponges, particularly lemon and lime. Although she’s been trying to kick the habit but still has a one inch square of sponge plus three teaspoons of organic soap with each meal. Well at least she should have clean innards!

Now we come to woman number 4 who is pregnant. Now we all know that pregnant women can develop cravings for odd foods but it must be fairly unusual to go for furniture polish! She says that she usually likes to spray a bit on her fingers and lick it off, or spray it on a duster and suck it out. Seemingly she has tried different makes but it’s Asda Smart Price Polish which does it for her. Well at least she should be taking a shine to her new child once it is born.

Now woman number 5 has to be the most unusual of the lot. Over the past 20 years she has managed to devour no less than eight sofas, five chairs as well as an unknown number of cushions. She also eats elastic bands and other rubber items, presumably as a starter! This gives a whole new meaning to the term “couch potato” or even perhaps, a “set tea”. Local restaurants are probably in horror if she rings up to book a table, in case she eats it. You certainly wouldn’t want to invite her round in case, quite literally, she ate you out of house and home. Still eating so many sofas must have put a spring in her step.

Well after all this, you will doubtless be pleased to know that Michelle will be back on Monday morning  bright and early at 11 so from me til next time, look after yourselves,

Scott