Most Naff 70s Song Contest

Over the last few weeks, I have been presenting on a Sunday evening between 8-10pm a Best Of The 70s show, HOWEVER it has come to my attention that the 70s was guilty of some pretty naff songs so it was decided to find the “Most Naff 70s Song”  and I am proud to present to you the 12 Naff finalists:

Click on each song to hear a small 30 sec clip and make your vote in the comment section below. This vote is also taking place on my facebook page.

  1. Brian & Michael – Matchstalk Men And Matchstalk Cats And Dogs Their only hit and I can understand why! This song reached Number 1 believe it or not and its about the painter L.S.Lowry. This is the first of a few on this list to contain children singing….and guess what school the children are from…St Winifreds School Choir.
  2. Clive Dunn – Grandad Yet another Number 1 and his only chart success. Now should Clive have started a singing career in the first place or should he have stayed in the home guard in Dads Army? You decide. Oh yeah, notice…more children singing!
  3. Donny Osmond – Puppy Love Oh those strings and Donny’s childish voice just get on my nerves!! Do they get on yours? The public liked it back in 1972, it reached the top of the charts! Maybe because just for once there were no children singing lol
  4. J J Barrie – No Charge How can this be a song, he TALKS through it!! Its about a boy who writes his mum a note and then the note she gives him in return.This topped the charts too! Good grief, a 70s classic or is it Naff?
  5. Lena Zavaroni – Ma (Hes Making Eyes At Me) A star from the talent show Opportunity Knocks. Lena had a powerful voice but my this song is annoying. One of the few on the list NOT to reach number 1 in the charts. Lena was a child star and unfortunatly no longer with us.
  6. Little Jimmy Osmond – Long Haired Lover From Liverpool Jimmy decided as he was too small to be a fully fledged Osmond he would record his own song and wow what a job he made of it. Number 1 in 1972 (Both Osmonds No.1 in the same year….ouch!) After this release the Osmonds made him a band member (perhaps to stop him recording anymore songs like this!)
  7. Ramblers – The Sparrow Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear what can i say about this song thats positive? Let me think………..oh yes, it does stop eventually. It just crept in the top 10 of the charts in 1979. Dont ask me how it managed it though. The Ramblers were from Abbey Hey Junior School in Manchester.
  8. St Winifreds School Choir – There’s No One Quite Like Grandma No im not picking on Grand Parents. Not content with being backing singers to Brian & Michael, St Winifreds decided to do a song of their own and now find themselves with two nominations on this Naff list. The choir appeared on tv all wearing matching pink dresses but the most annoying thing is the lead singers voice!! and the lyrics, and music and…..ok I will stop now. Oh, and this reached number 1….how?
  9. Sylvia – Y Viva Espana Yes, in its day a popular song your nan would dance too, lifting her skirt up trying to immitate a flamenco dancer. But now, almost 40 years on can you seriously say its a classic 70s song? Would you see Brits singing this in Benidorm? I think not.
  10. Telly Savalas – If Now to be fair, as Kojak Telly Savalas was good and he helped propel lollipop sales through the roof, but as a singer…well. Its another Number 1 that is spoken rather than sung. I think Telly’s bald head and hairy chest helped the sales of the song as it certainly wasnt the quality of the singing.
  11. Windsor Davies & Don Estelle – Whispering Grass – 2 actors from the comedy “It Aint Half Hot Mum” I will grant you Don Estelle can sing, Windsor Davies however…..hmmmmm. This was a song from the 1940s that they decided to re-record. Should they have bothered I wonder? Mind you if the grass grew too high, you wouldnt be able to see little Don Estelle!
  12. Wings – Mull Of Kintyre Ok now im on the defensive, this was not my idea however when i initially asked people about the most naff song in the 70s, this was mentioned quite a lot and therefore….it had to be put on the list. It was Number 1 for nine weeks, yes NINE weeks and was played to death on radio stations. So is it a classic, or does this get your vote as the most Naff 70s song?

So there you have it, what song will be crowned next sunday evening between 8-10pm here on Phoenix fm by our listeners, “The Most Naff Song From The 70s”. Vote now either on here or on my facebook page. And for those that asked, Chuck Berry’s My Ding a Ling did so nearly make it.